Email Submission: “Hi there, I’ve finally built up the courage to send a
pic in. I never used to have any issues with my body at all until a few
years ago. I was having sex with a man I liked and he said “you’re a
bit…’flappy’ aren’t you?” I honestly hadn’t ever considered what my
vagina looked like compared to other women’s. I still feel angry that
someone so insignificant could change my body image so completely. I now
find myself thinking about it a lot, comparing myself to other women, porn
etc. I have lost my sexual confidence, particularly when it comes to oral
sex. Rather than enjoy it, i spend the whole time wondering if they think I
look ugly. I know we all come in different shapes colours and sizes and
thanks to this blog, I am reminded of that fact. Although I don’t love
myself, or even like myself, I am trying! Keep up the good work, Anonymous,
Thanks for getting up the guts to share, and hopefully have a massive
cathartic experience and become super-empowered along the way. All vulva
and labia are beautiful because of what they are, and your pretty lips are
no exception. I can’t understand how any guy could have a problem with it.
Most guys I come by are pretty sensible, and I’d guarantee they’d be most
appreciative of your genitalia.
Your lips really aren’t large. They just look pretty average. Definitely
not “flappy”. But who cares if they were - that’s just normal. Did you read
my survey results I put on my Labia Resources page, above? You can download
the survey in a PDF file and I’m told it’s really good. I think so!
I know you know this, deep down, but I’ll tell you again and ask a few
questions, and maybe this will help put things in perspective.
Yes you shouldn’t take on board the opinion of someone so insignificant. I
hope that was the last time you had sex with him. And was he a perfect male
specimen? Was his penis perfect, or average? Or did you really care because
it was unimportant? I’d suspect it was a couple of those answers.
If you looked at this differently it might help. Would you be more inclined
to take financial advice from a filthy rich guy with a big house and
Ferrari, or a wannabe in a rented flat, and driving a Ford? Why listen to
the guy who doesn’t know what he’s talking about and somehow think his
ideas and opinions are better than yours? The common sense approach would
be to think he was just an opinionated, arrogant, ignorant twat, talking
out of his arse because he had an inferiority complex about the size of his
own “assets” and sad “performance”?
Just a different way to think about things and maybe change your
Has anyone else ever said anything bad about your vulva? Has everyone
you’ve had sex with enjoyed your body? Had anyone said anything good about
your vulva? Do people enjoy giving you oral sex? Think about all the
positive answers you’ll get from that thinking and let that override the
stupid comments from that other bell end.
Cheer up, and chin up. Your labia really are totally normal, but superb
looking on top of that, and millions of men (and women) would be delighted
to not only see your naked vulva, but to get up close and personal and show
you just how amazing it would be to be close yo
You. You’re perfect. It’s time to learn to live with it ;)